Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Trying to march to the beat of a different drum...

I adore this picture LOL means alot of things have gone right! :) This post isnt about that but something else I think is so very important!

As most of you know I have always been a very opinionated person, outgoing, outspoken and never afraid to tell people how I feel... well most of the time. Becoming a mother, almost instantly, has changed some of that in me... not to mention facebook, pinterest and other forms of social media, have had alot to do with it too.
Shortly after my girls were born I severed ties with someone who I had considered a best friend for over 10 years. Once this happened I started going through all my past friendships, wondering why we had lost contact or didn't speak much anymore and I started to think "It just MUST be me" "What did I do?" And for a long time I thought this way...
Recently I have decided to look at it all a different way, I do LOVE my small, close group of friends I have, yet I enjoy Facebook because it gives me a chance to connect with those 'lost' friends. I don't think it was always something that I had done to lose those friends, I think people grow up and change and move on, but with that, comes tolerating with those peoples new decisions, attitudes and outlooks... and sometimes I can't go along with them on the new path they choose. Sometimes they say hurtful things, to me or about me, and at this point in my life, and after whats happened to me and my family, I don't feel I should have to be hurt or feel bad about myself with people that are supposed to be FRIENDS.
You may ask, why is she writing this? Feeling a little guilty about hurting others and losing friends in the past, I wanted to try to change myself to be a more positive and happy person, yet keeping my strong values of what friendships should be, in tact.
A little while back I decided I wouldn't post anything on facebook unless it was positive or about my girls. I may have flubbed a few times and put a small complaint or two but for the most part I have stuck to it. I was tired of being hurt by peoples 'general' complaints about others that I seemed to fall into somehow, but when confronted they would assure me 'not you'... but yes, it is You wrote something, although general, still applies to me and hurts me. And after that I thought, have things that I have said unintentionally hurt people? Have I made people feel this way with my posts? So I quit. I wanted to let a little positivity come through me, a normally, pretty negative person.
YES, for those of you that know me well, I STILL have some pretty severe road rage, but at least I get to keep that to myself, and always G rated with the girls around. Speaking of the girls... takes me to my next point.
Criticism. WHY oh WHY must I be criticised for my parenting, bed times, what they eat, what they wear, where we go, which way they face in the car. I recently had a discussion with a friend about this, about people not understanding other peoples parenting. Guess what, there are about 2 billion different ways to parent, and NO 2 families do it the same. But yet, we feel the need to hurt others, again, unintentionally, by poking fun or constantly suggesting unwelcome advice. I have heard some very different ideas on parenting and MORE POWER to those people that it works for, I am not one of those people. I do what works for my family and TRY to stay out of other peoples lives, unless of course I agree or are asked for the advice. Its just hurtful when people make fun of when my kids go to bed, what diapers we use, how we feed, when we feed. Unless someone all out asks me "What did you do in this situation" I try hard not to share any more opinions. And facebook has this amazing way of letting alot of people with different opinions, educated or not, getting together and causing a huge fuss.
I guess all in all, I am trying very hard to not be hurtful to others. Trying to be more understanding, loving, and caring, selfless and a better mom, wife, friend and person in general. I am NOT perfect and I am sure I will mess up and let these things get to me and it will come out... but for now this is where I am going and seeing where it takes me. I might go back, I might not. Just have to wait and see. Thanks for tuning in! XOXO

PS. Thank you to my AMAZING friends I have in my life now. I don't know where I would be without you! :)

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